


virility

by onibi



Category: Greek and Roman Mythology, The Iliad - Homer, The Song of Achilles - Madeline Miller
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Beards (Facial Hair), Chatting & Messaging, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-23
Updated: 2016-10-23
Packaged: 2018-08-24 04:28:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8357173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onibi/pseuds/onibi
Summary: “Okay, get it over with,” Patroclus says, rolling his eyes. “Make with the jokes and we can move on.”Achilles just frowns at him.“You know. Come on,” Patroclus says, gesturing to his face and rolling his eyes. His face, now almost half covered in thick, dark hair, making the line of his jaw look sharp and dark and his lips look so red.“I think you look amazing,” Achilles says, and really, he wishes he was joking. or: in which patroclus grows a beard, achilles is dying of sexual frustration, and both clytemnestra & achilles are terrible friends





	

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this at the worst possible time i have so much work to do but i started thinking about how i don't agree with how everyone draws patroclus as like a smooth babyfaced boy and you know what? i think homer would be proud of me  
> also did you know beards were a pretty big deal in ancient greece? interesting. i have a purely scholarly interest in this.

Achilles had only been gone for a month _._ Just _one_ month _._ That, in the grand scheme of things, was an infinitesimally small amount of time. Hell, he was supposed to have been busy the whole time training, and he still felt like no time had passed at all, really. And he’d kept in contact with Patroclus when he was gone texting him every day or every second day, and all Patroclus ever had to say was that ‘nothing much’ was going on at home.

Nothing much, apparently, was a shocking amount of hair growing on his friends’ face where there hadn’t been hair before.

And _god,_ did he look good.

Neither of them had ever had facial hair. For Achilles, it just didn’t happen at all when it did for other people. When Patroclus hit that stage in puberty, he’d immediately started shaving it off, complaining that he looked like an old man already at fourteen. He’d just kept doing that, never having more than a shadow of stubble if he had forgotten to shave one day.

But now they were older, adults (something he still found hard to remember, feeling perpetually hormonal and emotionally confused), and Patroclus just. He’s never looked so…

“Okay, get it over with,” Patroclus says, rolling his eyes. “Make with the jokes and we can move on.”

Achilles just frowns at him.

“You know. Come on,” Patroclus says, gesturing to his face and rolling his eyes. His face, now almost half covered in thick, dark hair, making the line of his jaw look sharp and dark and his lips look so red.

“I think you look amazing,” Achilles says, and really, he wishes he was joking. It’s almost a little too sincere, he realises after saying it, and he feels his face heating up.

More surprising than that is that Patroclus’ does too. “Oh,” he says, reaching up and touching at his chin, rubbing his hand up his cheek. Achilles eyes follow the movements as a shock goes up his spine. He wants to be the one running his hand, there. “Thanks, dude.”

He opens his mouth to speak again, but they’re interrupted.

“Achilles! Back from the war, I see,” Clytemnestra says, clapping him on the back enough to make him stumble forward.

He clears his throat. “The war? By which you mean training camp?”

She shrugs. “I don’t know, it just felt like you were off at a war or something. Your widow’s been waiting here at home for you. Doesn’t he look hilarious? It’s like a werewolf transformation. No, a _teen wolf_ transformation. He’s gone from boy to wolfman. Listen, I tried to stop him. Told him only guys over thirty should have beards, and even then, they should seriously think about it first.”

Patroclus leans over and flicks her on the shoulder. “He likes it, you big bully.”

And Clytemnestra’s face just gets this look - grinning and raising her eyebrows higher than they should be able to go – and Achilles knows this is going to be trouble. She bursts out laughing. “Well! That’s great!”

Achilles and Patroclus exchange an unimpressed glance.

“No, really, that’s great. Adorable. Either he’s lying to make you feel better or he really does think it’s hot, and both are the best thing I’ve ever heard.”

Achilles frowns even harder. “I’m not lying.”

And then, of course, he realises he’s implying the other thing. Which, while true, makes Patroclus look at him and he can’t meet his eyes back. He just frowns at Clytemnestra and grows increasingly hot in the face.

She shakes her head, still grinning, and claps him on the back. “Fantastic. This is just the best news I’ve heard all day.”

She’s still shaking her head as she walks away, and Achilles finally looks up at Patroclus again.

“She can be the worst, sometimes,” Achilles mumbles.

“Yeah, sometimes. Thanks for, uh. Not making fun of me.”

“I wouldn’t,” he says. Offers him a smile. “You really do look good.”

And the way Patroclus lights up, you’d think he’d just opened a window – brightness all over the room, warmth all throughout his body.

It might be time to admit that he is completely fucked.

 

 

8:46 pm: 5/6/16

 **Clytemnestra:** hey A

can u explain why when I go to this page

http://www.thefreedictionary.com/pogonophile

there is not a picture of u

salivating over patroclus

8:55 pm: 5/6/16

 **Clytemnestra:** achilles are u there

this is rly important i think i need to email them

let them know abt this terrible mistake

8:58 pm: 5/6/16

 **Clytemnestra:** ur lack of concern about this dictionary’s accuracy is shocking and quite frankly a little appalling if i do say so myself

i might need 2 email our high school english teacher too

she’ll be super disappointed in u

for more reason than one

9:15 pm, 5/6/16

 **Achilles:** She’d be more disappointed in your terrible grammar.

9:16 pm, 5/6/16

 **Clytemnestra:** HA!!!! u ARE there!!!

ok so is it bc u can’t grow one urself or do u just have a thing for the SHEER VIRILITY

(look our teacher would be pretty proud of me for that one don’t u think)

because I GET IT

i mean i’m gay as hell but i still GET IT like it’s kind of an animalistic thing right

come on u can talk to me about this

is it just his face or do u have a thing abt hair… In General

9:19 pm, 5/6/16

 **Achilles:** Clytemnestra.

9:20 pm, 5/6/16

 **Clytemnestra:** ur right ur right sorry that’s TMI I don’t even wanna know anyway

what i’m trying to say is u can talk to me if u want

9:22 pm, 5/6/16

 **Achilles:** Thanks. But I’ll pass.

9:24 pm, 5/6/16

 **Clytemnestra:** ok dude

good luck with ur miserable pining xxxx

 

 

The thing is, Achilles had no idea he had a _thing_ for facial hair. In fact, he'd only realised fairly recently that he had a thing for guys as well as girls. Well, in a way maybe he’d always known, but since he liked girls and that was what was normal, he thought everyone also at least kind of found other people attractive too, and just ignored it. That was what being straight was. Except apparently it wasn’t at all, and finding this out made him open a curiosity door about himself he’s since been unable to close, and honestly has no interest in closing again.

And, of course, around the same time, he’d realised that his feelings for his best friend weren’t exactly normal either. Which caused him to think about that too much.  When he finally worked out that yes, he was in love with Patroclus, he’d put that to the side immediately and closed it off, way off thinking-limits.

Except _._ Lying in bed at 2 am, he can’t stop thinking about him. How nice it might be, to actually touch him, in a non-platonic way. And he’s blushing into his sheets and dying because Clytemnestra’s weird and inappropriate ribbing is getting to him. At first it just made him angry, but now it made him a whole mess of uncomfortable feelings - partly because she’s right, and partly because she can see it. How attracted to Patroclus he is. And if she can see it, it means Patroclus probably can, too. Meaning he’s decided to keep quiet about it to keep from hurting Achilles’ feelings. Which is nice of him. Also, it’s the worst thing in the world and thinking about it makes him sick with nerves and guilt and embarrassment.

All he needs to do is stop himself from thinking about it, and he will be fine.

 

 

He can’t stop. The next day, Patroclus comes over to his place in the morning, and he can’t stop. He notices now that he’s also been growing his hair out, as it curls thick and dark under his ears, and he wants to reach out and run his hands up through it – maybe pull on it, a little.

He swallows. He is so mad at Clytemnestra.

He’s also fucking exhausted.

“Good morning,” Achilles says, holding up his hand awkwardly.

“Uh, morning?” Patroclus says in response and tries to high-five Achilles hand. Which he pulls back instinctively, making Patroclus pull his hand back, making Achilles push his forward again.

They both drop their arms. Patroclus starts laughing.

“Sorry,” Achilles mumbles. “I didn’t sleep much last night.”

“Oh no. It’s a Saturday, dude. You should go back to bed.”

Without thinking, Achilles rubs his eyes and yawns, following it up with a very unconvincing “No, I’m okay.”

Patroclus frowns and just looks at him.

Achilles sighs. “No. I’ve had a whole month without spending the day with you, and it sucked. I’ll be fine.”

At this, Patroclus’s face softens and he pushes past Achilles to get inside. “Come on, then. I’m exhausted, too. You know I’d never get up this early if it weren’t for you. Let’s go to sleep for a while.”

Achilles nods and follows him inside wordlessly. Inside his room, which is meticulously clean having been out of use for a whole month, he flops down onto his unmade bed and immediately rolls into the covers, sighing. After taking off his shoes, Patroclus takes the space next to him, and Achilles opens his eyes and looks over the pillow.

And his heart drops.

Because he could almost imagine that he’s waking up next to him, the sun painting his gorgeous tanned face on a lazy weekend morning, and leaning over to kiss him like it was the most normal thing in the world.

“I missed you.” The words leave his lips like a breath.

Patroclus turns and smiles. “Yeah, man. I missed you too.”

And maybe it’s because he’s half asleep and half delirious, or maybe he’s just stupidly bold, but he reaches out his hand and cups Patroclus’s cheek, rubbing his thumb slowly over the hair, there.

And Patroclus’s breath hitches. Their eyes meet, and it’s like a jolt through his body.

“This…” he says, just barely getting the words out. “You look… I can’t…”

Patroclus knits his brows. “What?” His voice is quiet, rough. “My beard?”

And Achilles _groans._

He scrambles up on the bed to get closer, freeing his other hand that he uses to reach up and hold the other side of Patroclus’s face.

“You,” he starts, without knowing how to finish the sentence. Patroclus still looks so confused.

So Achilles kisses him.

For a miserable few seconds, Patroclus just sits there, limp and unresponding, and Achilles feels weak with panic in his body, heavy as lead. But then, in a moment, Patroclus is pressing back and leaning up and over him with such sudden force and strength that Achilles gasps, mouth wide. Patroclus takes this as the moment to open his mouth with his tongue and god, it can’t be real, this can’t honestly be happening, it’s almost too much and Achilles can barely breathe but it’s so good he might cry.

And then, Achilles gets his hands in Patroclus’s hair, and yeah, he might be crying just a little bit. They’re breathing heavily, like they’ve just run a marathon, but this is so much more of a rush than Achilles ever could have gotten from running. Patroclus’s lips are just as soft as they’ve always looked. And his beard – his _beard_ on Achilles’ face is almost too much, he actually whimpers as he tries to get closer, somehow closer, impossibly closer.

Then the worst thing in the world happens, Patroclus pulls away. He’s breathing so hard and his lips are so red and Achilles is frowning and trying to catch his breath.

“Wait,” Patroclus says as Achilles tries to lean in again. “Talk to me. What’s – what the hell is happening, exactly?”

Achilles _really_ frowns now. “We’re kissing, Patroclus. That’s kissing.”

“Shut up, idiot, I know that. I mean – what? Why? Why now?”

“You just –“ Achilles pauses, leans in to softly kiss Patroclus’s jaw and loves the way it makes him sigh and close his eyes – “I came back, and you were like this, and I can’t help myself.”

Patroclus’s eyes snap open. “This is just about –“

“No,” Achilles groans. “No, god. Fuck. I’ve loved you forever, you moron, I could hardly go a month without seeing you and coming back you just, you look so – you.”

That’s it. He just realises it as he says it. Patroclus looks like he’s finally grown into how he’s meant to look all along.

But Patroclus is sputtering, and pulling back – even as Achilles tries to keep him close. “You… love me?”

“So much,” Achilles says, “So much it’s ridiculous –“

And finally, _finally_ Patroclus kisses him again. It’s slower and deeper and more wonderful than anything he’s ever felt. They press together and it’s all the right kind of heat and light and passion.

Patroclus has one arm wrapped around Achilles’ waist and is lying almost on top of him, but at the same time is awkwardly beside him, so Achilles pulls one of his legs around so that Patroclus is between his legs and _god._ Patroclus groans deep in his throat as they press their bodies together, rubbing ridiculously frantic and uncoordinated and perfect. Achilles reaches up and digs his fingers back into Patroclus’s hair, clenching around it and tugging slightly, loving the noises he makes in response.

Patroclus pulls away from Achilles’ mouth to start kissing and sucking at his neck and it’s the best. Achilles throws his head back and pushes his body up into Patroclus over and over, not being shy about it at all.

“Can I –“ Patroclus gets out between kisses, reaching out a hand in between Achilles’ legs.

“Yes, yes, yeah, please –“

“Are you okay?”

“God, yes. Please, Patroclus. Please, please, please. Please…”

“Fuck, Achilles. You’re so…”

“Mmm.”

“I don’t –“

“Oh, god.”

It's all over so quickly, basically as soon as it begins, for both of them, but Achilles doesn't mind at all. He feels boneless. Light. A little hazy, and a little dizzy, and completely wonderful. He’s finally coming back into focus, and he looks at Patroclus, half collapsed on top of him and half beside him, and he leans in again to kiss him just beside his mouth.

“Oh,” Patroclus says, frowning and looking sad, and panic rises in Achilles’ chest.

“What?”

“I didn’t say it back.”

He frowns, waits.

“I didn’t say that I love you, too.”

He laughs, and strokes his fingers again up Patroclus's cheek, rubbing in little circles. He loves him. They love each other. In love, in love, in love. It feels so good and right to think about. And yeah, maybe it took them a little while to get there, but they're here, together, and Achilles thinks it was totally worth waiting for.

He kisses him again. “Well, I'm glad that you do. It's pretty fortunate for both of us, don't you think?”

Patroclus smiles, and, like every time he does, it’s the most beautiful thing Achilles has ever seen.

 

 

8:21 am, 6/6/16

 **Achilles:** img13.jpg

How’s that for something you can submit to the dictionary?

10:35 am, 6/6/16

 **Clytemnestra:** WHAT

OMG W H A T

DO U HAVE BEARD BURN

WHY ARE U NAKED AND IN BED

DID IT FINALLY HAPPEN

I’M SO GROSSED OUT AND DON’T WANT 2 BE A PART OF THIS

PLS FORGET I EVER SAID ANYTHING OMFG

BUT ALSO HAPPY FOR U

BUT ALSO GROSS NEVER TALK 2 ME AGAIN

10:49 am, 6/6/16

 **Clytemnestra:** ok jesus I’ve calmed down a little

also sent that pic 2 cass hope u expected that of me lmao

11:10 am, 6/6/16

 **Achilles:** Yeah, I know you.

Also, you were right about the hair thing.

11:12 am, 6/6/16

_Clytemnestra has blocked you._

**Author's Note:**

> come chat [on tumblr](http://o-nibi.tumblr.com)!!!


End file.
